Mindbending Metalheads

Greetings once again, citizens of the galaxy.

Yes, yes, I've been away, but lethargy and video game systems go hand in hand these days.

I had an experience this past Saturday that has given me pause, and I find the odd nature of the events forthcoming noteworthy.

A friend of mine is in a local metal band which is actually quite good. They're a find blend of Pantera, Metallica, Carcass, with a hint of Mercyful Fate thrown in. (See them at www.cynonyte.com.)This past weekend, they put on a show at a little hole in the wall about 45 minutes outside of town, and I deigned to enter the realm of underground metal.

Boy, was I in for a few shockers.

So tell me, please, which of the following seems most out of place. I can't decide.

Oddity #1:
A short, somewhat obese, nerdy black teenager wearing glasses and a 'Rancid' t-shirt. It's not that I'm trying to stereotype here, but it's just typically something one doesn't see at a metal show. Not in the south. And to further prove it's not a matter of race, Living Colour is one of the best metal bands to have existed, and they're ALL of African descent. Anyway, my point is it didn't quite fit, and she wasn't the only one. Most of the teens didn't fit. Come to think of it, did I dress that poorly as a teen? Ugh.

Oddity #2:
A woman talked to my friend so that she could hook her daughter up with him.

I'll let that sink in.

Oddity #3:
Here's the doozy. First, a blonde woman walks in. She is wearing a pink and yellow frill short-short-short skirt with mid-thigh stockings. Not the lacy kind, either. The ones that a dance instructor might where. She's also wearing a mini-jacket top (which matches that horrendous skirt, no less) over a t-shirt. Now, if this outfit had been black, it would have worked. It was not. It was pink, white, and yellow. Where is Hank Rollins when you need him.

Behind her enters, apparently, her 'man', though I do wish I could confirm he is a member of our species. He is wearing blue jeans, boots, and... get this... a 'Goodwrench' Dale Earnhardt jacket and a Dale Jr. hat. He is drinking beer and going "woooooooo". At a metal show. If the place had been full of more people, I may have stabbed him.

Yeah, I took my knives; it was a frickin' metal show.

So there you have it; an evening of pretty awesome music surrounded by thoroughly creepy people.

Just thinking about it, I feel the need to bathe.